We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
