peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
