that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize