who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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