we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
