Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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