its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
