Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
