roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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