are you so shy because you have an std?
this beer tastes like vomit already
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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