Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I can't turn off my feet"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
