i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
