Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
