Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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