He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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