none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
