Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
