I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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