this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize
