i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
