I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
