So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Is her dick bigger than yours?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
