when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
