if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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