apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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