We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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