is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize