Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
