so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
...so i touched it.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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