I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
