i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
