everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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