That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize