Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
