She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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