hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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