I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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