Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
