lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
