matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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