When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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