i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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