Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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