forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
