I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
