I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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