It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
