He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
