Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
