oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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