At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
