we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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