Dual....:-)
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize