I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
