tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
