I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
