he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Two words: nipple clamps
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