I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
