don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
